What is female success and how do we measure it? Is it career growth, financial well-being, a strong family and well-raised healthy children? Every woman has her own vision of success and happiness. For some it's all-consuming creativity or willingness to make sacrifices. For others it is the ability to make a choice in a difficult moment in life and follow it no matter how high you get.
Successful women are not only government officials in high places or famous athletes who have conquered world pedestals. These are also women who have dedicated themselves to work, art, raising children. Everyone has their own perception of success.
In the Year of People's Unity the board member of the Belarusian Union of Women, BelTA journalist Alina Grishkevich will present, in cooperation with the Belarusian Union of Women, a cycle of materials about different women whose life stories get weaven into the history of the country.
The cycle opens with a story about a woman from Polotsk whose career took off later in life. Chairwoman of the Council of the Republic of the National Assembly Natalya Kochanova has achieved everything by herself. In an interview, she spoke about simple human values, mother's commandments and teachers in her life.
Ms Kochanova, within a relatively short period of time you have become one of the most influential government officials in Belarus: first you were deputy prime minister, then head of the President Administration, now Chairwoman of the Council of the Republic. For the first time in the history of Belarus, a woman has taken up such a high public office. Not every man will be up to the job and make it to the top ten officials with whom the president interacts and whom he listens to. How difficult is it for a woman from a province, without family connections, to make such a successful career? Do you think your example is nothing out of the ordinary or is it yet an exception to the rule?
I think that my example shows that any woman can reach the most incredible heights in the profession and in life. This is the philosophy I preach.
Why do I have such respect and affection for my country? Because I have seen that if you work honestly, if you treat people kind, you will be noticed. Your attitude to work and people will always be seen. I have worked my way from a small position in the Polotskvodokanal water supply company all the way up. I know from experience that diligence and hard work are the key to success.
I began to work closely with the head of state only when I came to Minsk, or rather, when I came to work in the Presidential Administration. Before that, while still working in the region, I met with him only once when I was appointed to the post of Novopolotsk mayor. And that's it. All other occasions were either nationwide events attended by the president and the entire top-down power vertical or the Belarusian People's Congresses.
Suddenly I was offered the position of deputy prime minister. That was absolutely unexpected. It is clear that they evaluated all my work I had done in the region and the city, my ability to shoot problems and respond to people's concerns. This is my story. Now I meet with people much more often, both in my line of work and in life.
It is unacceptable for me when people are treated depending on the post they hold and when bosses put themselves above everyone else. After all, the government is judged by their attitude to people. People associate officials, their words and posture with the entire government.
Ms Kochanova, you produce an impression of a strong and tough woman. However, women sometimes want to be weak and helpless and to rely on men. Is it hard to be just as tough as the men you work with? What does it take to be up to the mark?
You know, I have never considered myself a very strong woman. In fact, somehow I have not even thought about it. I just know that I have certain principles that I can't drop under any circumstances: these are honesty and fairness.
We have recently been witnessing an outpouring of outright lies against our country and our people on various websites and Telegram channels. I totally reject it. I will never betray. Perhaps this gives me such confidence in my own decisions and statements.
I am receptive to alternative views and always take them on board if they are well-reasoned.
Therefore, it does not really matter whether I am strong or weak, it is more important to have a certain moral compass. When you stick to your principles, decision-making comes easy, because you do not have to think what side to take. In other words, I have principles that I will never abandon, that's it.
Ms Kochanova, what shaped your worldview?
I think that my view of the world started taking shape when I was a child, and this process still continues.
I often ponder how a person's worldview is formed, particularly now that our country is going through such a stage. I also think about it after frequent and long conversations with young people and labor collectives. You know, after all, a civic stance and attitudes do not depend on age. People's views are not determined by how old they are.
Although, of course, the older generation had it much harder; they faced a lot more challenges as they built today's Belarus, a peaceful, beautiful country. We were taught to love our country, family, elders and all people.
My family has shaped me in many ways, now I understand it very well. However, we did not get much parenting back then. Mom and dad worked hard to provide for me and my two siblings.
I hardly remember my grandparents. When I was born, I only had a grandfather who was pretty old, and I hardly remember him. Unfortunately, my grandmothers died early. My mother grew up virtually as an orphan.
Since childhood I remember the stories told by mom and dad, including stories about my grandparents, about the war. My parents often spoke about their childhood years and youth. I believe these stories about the ordeals of the older generation shaped the way I am.
We understood what the older generation did and how we should treat them, what they experienced during the war and what mark this never-healing wound left on us. My generation was well aware of the pain inflicted by the war and post-war years. Could our perception of things be different when our journey into adulthood was taking place against such a background?
My parents were still kids when the Great Patriotic War broke out. My dad came from a large family of 12 children. Back then the family lived in Moscow Oblast, and although the frontline did not reach this area, this time is remembered for misery, terrible hunger, and elder brothers going to war. My dad grew up with this, he knows firsthand about the war hardships, his family went through a lot.
My mother was a child during the Nazi invasion. She lived with her family near Minsk. It was the time of terrible fear and hunger. The start of the war coincided with the birth of another of her sisters. With five daughters in the family, they had nothing to eat amid frequent bombings. Once, my grandmother went to exchange bread ration vouchers and they were stolen on the train. She was horrified once she realized that her children would have nothing to eat. It was more than she could take. My grandmother, still a young women, was paralyzed and remained bedridden for five years. Just imagine how it felt when your little daughter asked for food and was told to be quiet. That was the everyday reality of wartime.
I grew up with those stories and memories. They keep haunting me: we should carefully preserve the memory of those times, people's sufferings, the fallen and the wounded, our ancestors. We cannot let them sink into oblivion. The things that our parents and grandparents went through should not happen again. This is the truth of life and the main idea that I preach on and off duty.
We should always focus on key values. This is why I prioritize these simple basics of life.
We should tell young people more that life in Belarus has not always been so peaceful. This is not a gift from above. More than 75 years have passed since the end of the war. Devastation, missing fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, children, broken lives – it was a trying period.
...Sure, at some point we were just happy that everyone was fed and clothed and lived comfortably. We did not tell our children and the youth what price was paid for that. We just encouraged them to study and move forward, we wanted things to be easier for them. However, time has shown that we should have told and shown them how hard it was. This is very important to have values, to understand the price of peace, to know that you can live and work towards your dreams. What prevents a person from achieving their goals today? Nothing. They should only study, work, and create.
To my mind, our society resembles a good family: we have done a lot to ensure a more or less carefree life for younger generations. It seems, some have grown up without realizing the price of their trouble-free life.
Some people tell me that the youth does not like to hear stories about hardships of the past. However, I believe that otherwise people stop appreciating what they have now.
Once a young man asked me a question during a meeting: “Why are you so proud that we are not hungry today? Do you consider this an achievement?”. This made me understand that we should have tried harder to explain to this generation that it was not easy, that it is truly an achievement of several generations.
I will always talk about this, no matter what. It is the truth of life that we should know and remember. Otherwise, we might find ourselves in a situation when all the troubles of the past will return.
What are your brightest childhood memories?
I grew up in an ordinary family of three children. Our life was pretty humble, my parents still live this way. I remember my parents' kind attitude to their kids. They never hurt or punished us, we always felt their endless love. At the same time, we clearly understood that we had obligations and responsibilities towards them. We wanted to live up to their expectations and not to betray their trust.
As children we were not limited in anything, but I always tried my best not to disappoint my parents. I saw that they had to work hard for everything in their lives, and I did not want to cause them any trouble. I always tried to help my parents. First of all, I was thinking about what my mom and dad would say, I always took their opinion into account.
My brother lives in Russia, he used to serve in various cities. But no matter how far the place of his service was located, he and his family visited our parents every year. He visited them on vacations, because this is how we were brought up. Now he is retired and keeps visiting them.
My mother says that the older she becomes the more often she recalls the war years. Therefore, when all those events started in the country (my mother is 89), she was very upset. She is closely following everything what is happening now. During the 6th Belarusian People's Congress (she was in hospital back then) she was watching TV almost all the time, for she did not want to miss a word. She is wondering what people want since we have peace and accord.
What were you like in your younger days? What aspirations did you have? What did you want to do in life? What youth dreams were fulfilled?
I had a dream to become a kindergarten teacher because I love children very much. But life took a different turn.
I always listened to what elder people had to say. I believe I was very lucky to meet a lot of great people in my life. Those were my teachers at school and university, the director of the company where I worked. I built good relations with all of them, I always listened to their opinions.
I remember a teacher once told me: “Why go anywhere to study when we have such a good polytechnic university here (now it is called Polotsk State University). My friend was thinking about studying there, and we decided to do it together. I have never had any regrets about graduating from it with a major in construction engineering.
There was a great teaching college in our town, but I did not know about it much. If someone had brought my attention to it, I would probably have built a career in teaching. Therefore, I place so much importance on career guidance for school students. I want them to have a chance to learn more about career opportunities and future professions already at school.
Who is your role model if any?
I cannot say that those were writers or actors. Like I said, my role models were my teachers, lecturers, then my colleagues. There were people whose attitude to work I admired. Perhaps, I was lucky to have such good directors at work, I learned a lot from them. It was very comfortable to work with all of them.
Frankly speaking, I would have been working at my first workplace, Polotskvodokanal to this very day, unless I had been invited to take another job. I have no doubts about it.
One thing I have always been concerned about is to keep up with people's expectations.
I cannot say that I have ever had any role models. My parents played a huge role in my development as a person.
What did your mother say when she learned about the new job of her daughter and the need to leave the city? Do you see her often? What do you discuss? What does she think about your work? Is she a stern judge or a kind angel?
My mother is a kind angel. She never judges me harshly. We are very close. We enjoy truly close and cordial relations. We feel each other. We discuss a lot of things. She has a very wise and kind attitude to life and people. Moreover, I can say I listen to her opinions and she listens to mine.
Mother worked her entire life at a clothing factory. She understands working from nine to five. And she understands there can be jobs that require working extra hours.
Honestly speaking, mother accepted my promotions with pain. When I had to leave for Minsk, it was very difficult for her because we had lived next to each other the entire life. But she is a wise person. She understands job requirements and responsibility.
She always supports me. Particularly when all kinds of things are said about me. She can tell between the truth and lies better than anyone.
Unfortunately, we don't meet all that often. I had a vacation not so long ago and the parents moved in with us for some time. It was very homelike: having conversations late into the night, reminiscing. I very much wanted mother and father to stay with us but they were absolutely intent on going back home.
Do you maintain tight contacts with the place you grew up in? What projects do you have in mind for the Year of People's Unity?
Polotsk is the city I was born and grew up in. I know Novopolotsk very well and the issues that need to be resolved over there. The issues did not disappear when I moved to Minsk, this is why I stay in touch with the administrations of both cities. Moreover, they call me virtually every day. Polotsk and Novopolotsk have been designated as cities of accelerated development.
In the Year of People's Unity I intend to have more meetings, more interactions in my hometown. I would very much like people to understand that everything should be taken with a grain of salt. No things said on the internet can be taken as gospel. There are a lot of destructive lies on the Internet.
When I meet with workers of various enterprises, I cite a lot of examples from my own life. Right after the election campaign when they started writing that Naftan Oil Refinery went on strike, I met with engineers and technicians. I invited all the heads of shops, manufacturing divisions and units. We talked sincerely for over two hours. I talked about myself and said one should not believe outright lies.
This is why I always tell people: you should analyze and double check everything because many Telegram channels are full of lies. Lies are being propagated in order to destabilize the country and stir up tensions in the society.
This is why meeting with people and discussing everything with them are an important task.
We should do everything for unity. It is wrong that the people you've been in touch with for years suddenly start seeing everything from a different angle. It raises eyebrow. Let's talk why they do it. Don't they realize that they fall victims to those who want to destroy and split our society? We shouldn't allow it. This is why everyone should do their best to get united.
Everything that has happened recently demonstrated who genuine patriots of the country are. And the patriots have indeed become united.
I would like to repeat that I will not change my ways in any circumstances. My internal beliefs coincide with what I do.
Do you think you are popular with people?
I must admit that at first I took it hard, I mean any unfairness towards me. I felt bad when people said mean things about those who did not deserve it at all. I did not understand why people would do it. When I took up high public offices, like vice mayor and mayor, I realized that you cannot explain to everyone who you really are, what influences your decisions, and you cannot meet with everyone to talk.
I understood that this is life and you need to take a philosophical approach to many things. You cannot open up to everyone. Some people can be happy when others are doing well. Others, unfortunately, cannot share happiness about other people's achievements.
I have learned to stay calm about things they say about me. Those who know me well treat me kindly, and I know that many people respect me. It is not just my family, there are others, acquaintances or strangers, who write me letters, call me and express their support to me. It became especially evident after the August events. There are also those who have a different attitude. In such a situation it is important not to get angry and hardhearted. My mother always said: “Do not do evil to people, even if they do evil, respond with good”. That was what my granny taught my mother. She has been following these rules all her life: never take that is not yours, never do harm to people.
This is why I always have the courage to talk to people: I treat them kindly.
Many women find it hard to balance career with family. What about you?
It is not a problem for me: my children are grown-ups, and this is just me and my husband living together today. My family has never had household chore issues. We got it from our parents: there was no such thing as my mother doing all the cleaning, cooking, washing, serving. I saw that my parents always did everything together. Dad cooked delicious dishes, and he still does. So I have never had problems with balancing work and family life. I appreciate that my husband has always supported me. And he still does.
Of course, a high public office means a certain mode of life. Even on vacation, I continue working, always busy with paperwork. It is impossible to escape work.
While working in the region, and then in the government and the President Administration, I never counted hours and never looked at the clock to see if office hours were over.
What is your favorite pastime? Do you like reading? You used to play volleyball, but how long has it been since you last held a volleyball in your hands?
Volleyball used to be my big hobby at school and university. I even continued playing when I worked in Novopolotsk. I have not played volleyball for a long time already.
I have always been fond of reading, and I read with great pleasure when I have free time. We have a lot of books at home, since everyone in the family loves reading.
From your point of view, what are the three most important things in life?
Peace, harmony and love.
The older I grow, the better I understand that the most important thing is to have peace and harmony in our country. Love is important, too: love for your children, family and friends. Love for the work you do, the people you interact with. Without peace, however, all this will be impossible.
Alina Grishkevich
BelTA
